is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
