Swine flu. Run for my life!
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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