i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
