i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just forgot I was standing up.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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