Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon. http://tfl.nu/roae
  Replies (12) Good night (936) Bad night (1146)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon http://tfl.nu/qfy4
  Replies (21) Good night (673) Bad night (1575)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (386): No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable. http://tfl.nu/h3dd
  Replies (13) Good night (619) Bad night (2003)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh. http://tfl.nu/7dtp
  Replies (34) Good night (833) Bad night (3617)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer http://tfl.nu/kbap
  Replies (12) Good night (706) Bad night (4295)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store? http://tfl.nu/4sw9
  Replies (24) Good night (5922) Bad night (1690)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up. http://tfl.nu/5b65
  Replies (5) Good night (4220) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you? http://tfl.nu/o1lb
  Replies (27) Good night (1238) Bad night (5536)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever. http://tfl.nu/e0m4
  Replies (16) Good night (4626) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS http://tfl.nu/9yrh
  Replies (17) Good night (1230) Bad night (4630)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE. http://tfl.nu/hewz
  Replies (12) Good night (1512) Bad night (2140)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/f9iv
  Replies (12) Good night (1054) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler http://tfl.nu/xejb
  Replies (4) Good night (1099) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned. http://tfl.nu/85cz
  Replies (5) Good night (473) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel. http://tfl.nu/sldw
  Replies (2) Good night (647) Bad night (346)

Randomize