i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
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Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
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I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.