we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I wish my penis had an off switch
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
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so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
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You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.