I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.