I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
