I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
