genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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