which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
