Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
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i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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