We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
