Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
My underwear smells like fireworks.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Randomize
