He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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