Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
he puts the penis in happiness.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
