This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Randomize
