Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I didn't notice because vodka
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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