I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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