Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
