2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
