I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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