I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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