I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
