I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize