Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
