Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Semen is not good for contacts.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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