Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
