So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
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My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
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Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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