Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize