She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
