UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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