please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
