if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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