I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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