There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
