I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
