Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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