brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
