My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Couch. On fire.
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