I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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