Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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