I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it glows. i had to have it.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize