she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize