Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
