24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
