Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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