Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
