look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
