names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
