Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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