On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
