as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
