my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
