Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
