TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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