Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
