I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
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WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
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If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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