I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
