u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
